Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Transitions
As most of you know, we are moving back to the U.S.! The news came quite gradually, over the month of August, now confirmed, with a departure date around the first week of December. I am beyond thrilled to be going home, to my family, my friends, my native climate, to be there for Christmas. I feel as if my body has been in a dormant state living here, in this hot, humid climate, for 4 yrs without a break.
Yes, there are things I will miss, but for now I am focusing on the things to come. This will get me through a transition period, which everyone knows is always difficult. Whenever I hear the word "transition" I automatically think of labor (mom, are you proud or what?!) Having had 4 children completely natural with no drug intervention, transition was a word both glorious and terrifying to hear! This meant that it was almsot over, but, the worst is yet to come.
It is still an uphill battle, but the end is in sight. So many details to be decided, things to be sorted, friends to spend time with, children to reassure that this will be great despite the sadness of saying goodbye.
We still don't know where we will live, and I think this is the single hardest thing at the moment. Ask me in a few weeks when we are living in the midst of boxes and not sleeping due to our minds racing and the insecurities of Caitlyn because of all the change, and saying goodbye to the friends I have also called family for the past 4 years.
But, for now, I am really struggling with not knowing where "home" will be next. I want to invision the spaces and how I will set them up. What things I can give away here and what I must keep. Where I will homeschool the boys and how the room will look, and how I will set things up for Caitlyn during school hours. How I will decorate the spaces I was blessed with, the colors and decor, the furniture in which places.
I am a Home Maker, and right now, I dont have a home to make. The decision will come soon enough, but it doesn't feel that way right now. Each day that passes Steve and I talk over the same spaces of the same 4 houses I chose 2 weeks ago, trying to decide which one is right for our family. May God guide us to the place He has for us in this next season! I need to choose to dwell in His peace and grace that His timing is perfect, and not my own.
I guess I ended up focusing more on the difficult things rather than the things to come this time. My next post will be filled with anticipation of our new home and what life will look like back in our home town! The sights, the smells, the seasons, I can't wait!
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